It is hard for me to ignore what others think of me, especially when I am skating.

I, indeed, love ice-skating, and I started learning to skate when I was about 5 years old. Back then, I was careless but confident, so I always skated without hard-working but still consider that I skated so well. In fact, I could just master 1T, 1F and 1Lz and an easy waltz jump until I was 12. I was such an inactive person, but I never realized it at that time. Everyone praised me: my friends (wow! You could spin so fast!), my school’s teachers (You are so beautiful!), and so on. I was easily satisfied, so I never worked hard.

But now, I realized that I was wrong! I was actually so bad. Let me tell you why I said that. Today and the day before yesterday, I went to the ice rink, which is spacious, and is full of talents who are just under 12. Most children were practicing triple jumps which are quite difficult. If someone could master it, they could even be a national athlete. I am not as confident as I was when I was little because I went through many tough things in my junior high school. It was a long story, and maybe I’ll write about it in my later journals. But back to the point. I felt quite embarrassed in front of these talented children because I was afraid of being mocked. Even though I know they’ve put in tons of practice and no one’s paying attention to me, I still could not stop worrying about how others see me. In this sense, I could not focus myself on practicing —— but I love skating!

I’m really struggling. But I believe everything will be OK in the future, right?